True Manhood

A wag in Florida reacting the testicular tanning craze wrote: “We could designate part of our beaches as NUT (Natural Unrestricted Tanning) Zones”.¹ When we lived in Belgrade there was an island in the Danube River called Ada Ciganlia. There was a family friendly beach, and then if you wandered too far you reached the “Naturist” beach ,where the nudists sunbathed.  The nudists tended to be fat, old men.  Maybe their testicular tanning caused Serbs to have a higher testosterone level.  Maybe it led to their tendency to start wars.

Of all the silly ideas about how to bring “real manhood” back, this has to be the most silly.  Of course the sillier idea is that the level of a man’s testosterone level determines whether he is a real man.  The very same video, which announced this miraculous solution, featured “shirtless men throwing around weights, wielding axes, doing pushups and wrestling each other.” Sounds like one of Putin’s birthday videos. How long will we persist in thinking that masculinity has to do with a testosterone level? This means that any man older than 60 is not a man.  

The biblical view of manhood has little to do with the American worship of action heroes. What matters in the Bible is not whether a man is “virile”, but whether he follows God with all his heart. A true man submits first to God and then to anyone else, name your favorite politician. A true man’s behavior is measured by the fruit of the Holy Spirit in his life: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Gal 5:22 A real man’s relationship to his wife is defined by the Apostle Paul’s admonition: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Eph. 5:24 Don’t confuse this with Bruno Mars singing “I’d fall on a grenade for ya.” A woman doesn’t need a man to promise stupid things that he’d never need to do. A woman needs and wants a man who honors her and puts her above himself, just as Christ put the church above himself when he died for her.  Doing chores to help your wife would be more useful than these “masculine” rituals (unless you still heat your house with a wood burning fire).  A real man is not worried about being seen as “submissive” to his wife.  Before the specific verses  of instructions to individuals Paul says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:20 Those who are quick to assert “male headship” are slow to see how these verses, which follow, define such “headship”. A real man, a true man’s man, should love his wife, be faithful to her and kind to her. He should seek her good above his own.  

If one’s testosterone level and sex is all marriage is about, it has no point past the prime of youth and the propagating of the race. Just as we are humans not merely because we have two eyes, two ears, a nose and mouth, so we are not men merely because our testosterone level is high.  Perhaps the fire has to burn lower for reason to win the battle between stupidity and wisdom.

A man’s true masculinity can be seen also in his relationship to his children. “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Eph. 6:4 Fathers who are real men do not choose career over their children.  They do not exasperate their children by putting them last of all their priorities.  I truly believe that the reason many people do not accept Christ or that they leave the church is because of the poor example set by their fathers, whether absence in attending church or in abandoning their families/getting divorced and giving in to their desires. A true man’s “virility” is not seen in his conquests, but in his devotion to his family.

So now, besides taking Viagra, we are encouraged to tan our testicles.  What a ridiculous idea! Why not take hormone supplements? Probably because this device to tan the testicles costs $1,649.00.  How much did the host get for his percentage?  The article we began with also said that the video promoting testicular tanning has “a scene of a naked man tanning his groin in front of an infrared panel of lights as a soaring orchestral rendition of ‘Thus Spake Zarathustra’ plays in the background.” Ah ha, the Blond Beast! I knew Nietzsche was in there somewhere. The Superman! The man who makes the law and doesn’t submit to anyone else’s law. I wonder if Nietzsche tanned his testicles?

On screeds

 Once again I write to my Evangelical brothers and sisters. I am provoked by our nastiness when we engage with those with whom we disagree.  I am not opposed to the positions being taken. I am pro-life and pro-family.  I am a straight man who has been monogamously, faithfully married for nearly forty years.  I have three children and two grandchildren.  I have “skin in the game.”

While I am upset, even deeply troubled, by things that are happening, I am nauseated by how some Evangelical Christians attack those with whom they disagree.  You may disagree, but having lived through one country I was in going to war and seeing another country I loved attacked, I must ask what is the price we will pay for demonizing others?  People may be egregiously wrong.  Their opinions may nauseate us. We certainly have the freedom to work against decisions or legislation we disagree with.  What troubles me is the extremity of the language being used.

Once we have demonized someone we feel less reason to be civil to them.  Civility is not merely a political convention.  For a Christian how we talk to others, the names we call them, the invective we use shows whether we are following Christ or not. Paul says that our speech is to be seasoned as with salt. In other words we are not to use harsh language and attack people.  We are to stand for the truth, but part of our truth is that we care for people. We are to love people as Christ loved them, which means we are to love the most unlovely and the most disgusting. Before we received grace we were the same.  Paul says, “And such were some of you…” This phrase follows a list of disgusting sins.  As Christ has forgiven us, so we are to forgive others.  As Jesus was dying on the cross, he said, “Forgive them for they do not know what they doing.”

The attitudes I read in the various tirades I read here are not Christlike.  We are to emulate him and that is harder when we disagree with someone, but neither he nor we should demonize people.  We probably cannot look into the eyes of people we are disagreeing wiith.  When we read articles in our favorite news source and then excoriate someone we have never met, we hide behind our fortress and do not engage with that person. 

The well known theologian Miroslav Volf wrote a book called Exclusion & Embrace. I particularly liked the first half.  Volf engages in a long reflection on the parable of the prodigal son.  He wrote parts of this book during the Bosnian War.  Volf is from Croatia.  He noted that you cannot embrace if you’re holding a gun.  To put down your gun is risky. You might be shot.  However, you can’t hug someone if you hide behind your gun and the safety you feel from it.  Volf spent a lot of time talking about the older brother.  In this parable we Evangelical Christians are the older brothers. We are angry and self-righteous.  We may be right, but there is no forgiveness and no redemptive attitude. We don’t seek the salvation of our opponents, just their “destruction”, whether metaphorical or real. (I think, for instance, of the men who are being tried for planning to kidnap the governor of Michigan.) We use violent language and then we wonder why some of us become literally violent.

As Evangelical Christians we use the argument from the image of God to defend cherished views.  We do so rightly.  Because a fetus in in the image of God, it deserves the right to live.  Because an elderly person suffering from Alzheimer’s without any memory even of their family members is still created in the image of God, he or she deserves to live and not be euthanized.  We are so valiant for this truth that all are created in the image of God, we use it all the time, and rightly.  However, we don’t see the image of God in our opponents whether theological liberals or political liberals whom we suppose to be anti-Christians.  We don’t see them as human.  They become demons in human form.

This sort of demonization led to the Srebrnica massacre.  This sort of demonization led to the current atrocities in Ukraine.  Though not a Christian version of demonization, this sort of demonization led to Syria’s brutal repression of a different sort of Muslim.  Hindu nationalists persecute Christians and burn churches. But how are we different.  Serbs are Orthodox Christians.  They believed that they were fighting for their homeland when they fought for Kosovo.  Many Russians believe that they are freeing Ukraine of “Nazis”. They are also fighting for their homeland (Kievan Rus).  We all have good reasons for our hate. But Jesus says, “Love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you! Pray for those who spitefully use you.” As Christians we do not have the luxury of hating their enemies.

What are we doing to be winsome towards those we disagree with? I’m not saying take your children to movies you object to. (Some of our Mennonite friends don’t believe in movies at all.) Don’t patronize Disney. Fine! But what are you doing to reach these people for Christ?  Is your behavior winsome?  Paul says that we are an aroma of death to life for those who are perishing (dying without knowing Christ) and an aroma of life to life for those who are being saved. Are we a stench or a pleasant odor?  When people meet us and leave us, do they say, “What a kind person! That person is so different than I expected them to be!” Or do they say, “What a creep! Such self-righteousness! Such a blow hard!”

Democracy means the majority determines the law.  I am all for democracy, but if we Evangelical Christians fall into the minority, what is our stance: demonizing and being nasty or reaching out and being loving.  You will say that I don’t know the enemy.  I do.  We are our own worst enemies.  Our vitriolic, our meanness, our lack of love for our opponents mark us as mean spirited and unkind.  We must be kind and loving, even to and especially to our opponents. Are we “e pluribus unum” or not”? Are we working for change or just trying to stymy the other side and wait but our time as a minority?

I don’t engage in eschatological proclamations. However, of one thing I am sure: Christians will eventually be in the minority before Christ returns.  When Christianity began Christians were an illegal sect.  They were persecuted and killed for being atheists, for rejecting the Roman gods. They showed their superior moral quality not by haranguing and being nasty, but by showing love towards their enemies.  Peter says, 

14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened.” 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, 16 keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. 17 For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil. 18 For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive in the Spirit. 1 Peter 3:14-18

Peter is speaking here to people who are in danger of losing their lives!  Yet he cites the example of Jesus, who loved his enemies so much that he was willing to die for them.  Though they hated him, beat him and put him to death, he loved them even through his death. He died to save them.  Who were we before Christ died to save us?

6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 6